God, Please Make This Easier..

2011, it’s my second year of teaching UPSR kids, but unlike last year, I wonder why I’m not feeling anything this year. I still remembered last year, when I was nervous like hell, I was busy asking my friends if they have any clues what might come out, and I was worried the whole day of English paper (Thursday, the last paper), and etc. Yet, this year, I was calmer and more relaxed. No no. I’m not saying I’m getting better at it, or they are smarter students than last year, so then I don’t have to worry, no. Nothing like that. It’s just that… I don’t know. It feels like I can’t wait for all of this to be over. I want time to fly faster…. Faster until…

Okay, let’s just be frank and straight forward. I think, the major reason of all this ‘feelingless’ is…. this.

The letter that I received when I was called to JPNS, Shah Alam on last 25th August.

I know I should be happy. That’s what I wanted since I got married. I applied for this transfer in June. When it didn’t succeed, I was called back by JPNS two months after to consider this offer. It was almost like ‘bulan jatuh ke riba’ right? It was just that, I didn’t expect it was too soon.

Okay, actually, that’s not the part that got me worried.

Definitely, I’m not gonna be sent to Muar, where my husband is. Now, that’s the worst part.

I was explained by the officers that some of the districts which are not going to accept more teachers are, MUAR, Batu Pahat, Segamat, and Pontian. These districts are strictly not included in the offer. They are seriously full, overloaded even. So, the only choices that I have are, JB, Mersing, Pasir Gudang. I’m not sure about Kluang. The living cost in JB is ridiculously high, and Mersing? Nothing wrong with Mersing, it’s just that too far from Muar. I haven’t given enough thoughts on Pasir Gudang or Kluang tho. It’s too headache.

So, I’ve talked, discussed, consulted with my husband, my family, my friends, and my beloved KakGee the school clerk, they all advised me to accept the offer. They said, at least, I’m already in Johor, doesn’t matter what districts I’ll be sent to. If I reject the offer, I have to apply through EG-Tukar and only God knows how long that is going to take me out of Selangor. So… Okay, I accepted the offer. At the same time, I would ask my husband to get help from anyone that can help out my situation.

So, days passed by, and what I can conclude now, I might not be getting into Muar, because there are simply no place for me. People are trying to help (thanks to all of you, you know who you are 🙂 ), calling here and there, but so far, no luck yet.

The official letter that’ll be informing me which district and school I’ll be sent to, might be received less than two weeks from now. So, till then, I have to live in uncertainties, which is not fun at all.

Right now, my situation is, I am leaving Selangor. I am leaving Sabak Bernam and I am leaving SK Tebok Jawa. That is pretty much confirmed. I just don’t know where I’m leaving for. I mean, I know I’m going to Johor, but Johor is a big state. Where, specifically? If I end up in Mersing or JB, or Pasir Gudang or Kluang, I still have to live alone without my husband. Worse, I have no family there. T__T

Despite all this worried, emotional ramblings, I know, I am making the right decision. It’s just that, to get to the last check-point of this right decision (settling down with my husband), maybe there is no straight path.

Haih. I’m so distracted by this.
In my case, I guess that beats UPSR fever this year.

p/s- I wish the best of luck to my Year 6 kids. You’re my final project in SKTJ, so make me proud. :’-)


5 thoughts on “God, Please Make This Easier..

  1. pnnzdb says:

    Emy…i wish u luck.i also think it’d be easier to go to muar if u’re already in johor. especially if there’re people helping you out.

  2. wanna says:

    emy, gf aku pon try mintak ke muar. she’s now in JB. JB suxs emy. sekolah smpai sabtu. i hope ko x dpt JB and pasir gudang. Pasir gudang is a big NO emy! go jb or mersing but still i pray for u the best!

    • emywinchester says:

      if i cant get into muar, ewan’s probably try to get me into kulai. i dunno.. i’m lost. this gives me enough headache as i hate living with uncertainties! thank u babe! i hope i wont get JB too.. i cant stand places with heavy workload!

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