He That Is Not Jealous, Is Not In Love -St. Augustine

( Background Music- What About Now by Daughtry, Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade, What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts, Home by Daughtry, Where I Stood by Missy Higgins, All Good Things Come To An End by Nelly Furtado )

Jealousy. It’s an annoying feeling. I hate to be jealous, I think it’s sooooooo uncool. Like, REALLY2 UNCOOL! Yet, sometimes you just can’t help feeling jealous, for example, you are jealous when your parents pay more attention to your little sister, you are jealous when your friend scores better mark than you in examination, you are jealous when your enemy has the perfect everything in their life, and the most common one, you are jealous when your love one has a good friendship with their friends who are the opposite sex. I’m not talking about anyone else, I’m talking about me.

I’m a very very jealous person especially when it comes to my beloved one, and if that makes me uncool, I’m okay with it.  I hate sharing him with everyone else.. I hate it when he always pays more attention to his friends, even to his guy friends, let alone his girl friends. I feel so jealous when his ‘history’ and him are at the same place, even though they do not talk to each other, even though he doesn’t even bother about her presence. Worst, I even feel more jealous when he tells me that he’s laying his head on his mother’s lap while watching television together.. I repeat, his own mother! Wow! I can’t believe I’m that uncool.

Why do I need to be jealous? Okay, the last point up there, that’s maybe because I was being gedik or mengada2, attention-seeker at that time.. But for the rest of the points, why? Is this because the insecurity? Is this because I don’t trust him? No! That’s out of question. I trust him. I trust him with all my heart. I have faith in him. So, why actually?

I think it’s because, I love him too much. I love him too much that I can’t even bear to share him with anyone else. It’s just as simple as that. You know when I wasn’t in love, I always think those jealous persons are idiot, lame and uncool. Look at that! Now, I AM that idiot, lame and uncool person. You’ll never know how it feels until it hits you right at your face, right? (Wait! I think in future when we already have kids, and he pays more attention to them rather than me, I get a feeling that I might be jealous over that too.)

So, right now, when he feels the same way about me, when he’s jealous over something that actually happened in my past, it’s just because of the simple reason.


p/s – He’s a jealous person too. That makes him as idiot, lame and uncool as me. But anyways, I STILL LOVE HIM, endlessly. Forever.

p/s/s – I’m sorry for whatever happened ye syg… I  U!


2 thoughts on “He That Is Not Jealous, Is Not In Love -St. Augustine

  1. lisa says:

    hey emy,
    i just happened to come across ur lovely blog:).
    i just couldnt agree more, jealousy is a feeling that we couldnt run away from, and is suprisingly out of our sane minds.hehe.
    ok, mengarut2 je ni,;p.
    selamat berpuasa 😉

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