Don’t Calm That Storm

I tried to put up with you, I tried to ignore what everyone else said about you, I tried to be positive and convinced myself that I did NOT have any problems with you. I really did NOT. But then, you kept pushing your luck. Every time I said I was okay with you (usually I said this to people who don’t like you), there must be something that you did to make me angry. If it was only once or twice, maybe you didn’t realize it. But it happened many times. It was like, you wanted to test me, wanted to try my patience. They were all small things, but when you kept doing it, they became one big thing. How the hell am I supposed to ‘buat tatau’? Did you really want me to explode and be mad at you??? Did you want me to hate you?? Coz that was how I saw it.

And please… Stop using that reverse psychology. Stop lowering yourself just to get sympathy. And for God sake, stop saying that I was the reason that you have been ignored! If only you knew how to be sensitive to other people, if only you knew how to consider my feelings before your actions, if only you knew how to NOT take advantage, you would not be ignored. You would still get the attention that you want and as far as I’m concern, I might be okay with it.
Even with you.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate you, okay? It’s just that, certain things that you did/said, hurt my feelings.

I’ve ignored this thing for quite some time actually. In fact, I have nothing against that person anymore. But recently, something happened that triggered this anger uncomfortable feeling in my heart that forced me to write this.

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