(background music : Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore, Tik Tok by Kei$ha, If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz, Until You’re Mine by Demi Lovato and Crazier by Taylor Swift)
It’s raining heavily outside right now. I’m sitting in the dark, on a couch, infront of TV and trying to write something. But no idea. Until now, what I did was typed two or three sentences, read them, and pressed ‘backspace’ button until those two or three sentences disappeared. I repeated that few times already. I’m really in the mood of blogging, but sadly, I don’t know what to write. So, this entry is going to be quite rubbish. I’m just gonna write about whatever that will cross my mind. Keep reading if you want, but if you dont, please click on the ‘x’ at your top-left. Hehe
I miss my man. That’s the first thing that I thought just now. I’m texting him right now actually. He’s watching National Geography bout some endangered animals and how to take care of them. Guess what? Now, he’s on his way to diet.. Seriously. Well, yeah, he’s been trying to slim down since last few months. He succeed for a while, but then when I was off of that subject for few weeks, he gained more kgs. Haiya.. But now, I think my job is getting easier especially when his mom is also forcing him to slim down (thank you makcik!!). From what he told me, he said that his mom was angry because he didn’t take care of his shape. Wait for the funniest part. Her mom said, ‘Kena la kurus, bini ko kurus. Kalau x nak kurus, nnti Emy lari. Baru tau. ‘Hahahaha. Takde la sampai mcm tu makcik.. I wont leave him, that I can promise. Saya sayang anak makcik tu. Sgt!! Haha
Owh, while we are in this topic, I just wanna write something that I’ve been keeping down here in my heart, for quite some time. This slimming down thing, this is what HE wants. Many times, I got asked by certain people, ‘Kalau die x kurus, ko sayang die lgi x?’ To be honest, I totally hate that question. SUPER HATE! Whether they intended or not, it offended me a little. I was like, ‘Do you think I’m that shallow??’, ‘Do you think I dont have a brain on my own that I can’t think properly of what I’m doing?’. That love subject, IT’S SOOO OUT OF QUESTION! Of course I love him no matter what. In fact, I love him so much! But here, be realistic. Don’t you want the best for your partner?? I do. This is what HE wants. And I’m helping him. Coz he once told me, if he gets what he targets, he’ll be happy. I want him to be happy. THAT’s what I’m doing.
And another thing, I want us to grow old together and stay healthy. So I start to advice him about what should he eat more, and what should he eat less while he’s still young. It’s not about being slim totally, it’s about being healthy. I don’t think it’s a crime by asking your beloved to live healthier, is it? I’m doing what’s best for us, for our future life, not for my own sake. Kalau org lain tu, lantak diorg la nk camane.. I don’t care. Even if I do, I don’t have any rights to interfere. Tpi yang ni, si dier yang suh aku jadi dier punyer dietitian. So.. Aku mang kena kisah. But ‘kisah’ means concern. Concern means care. And care means love… Apa2 pon, bukan sbb lain. It’s all because of love.
I still have more to say in order to defend myself. In fact, I kept deleting what I wrote just now coz I dunno how to put what I’m about to say in a nice way. It may hurt some people. So, x payah la tulis.. What’s more important, I know my reasons, and I love you sooooooo much Mr.Gonzales!!! Hihi
K la, change topic!
Tomorrow, I’m gonna call JPN-S for the details about my posting. Hm.. Most of my friends said that I’m lucky that I got my own state. Yeah, I think so too especially after I didn’t put Selangor as my 1st choice, and I didn’t have ‘big cable’ to help me getting my own state. Yet, I still get it. Alhamdulillah.. That, I was a bit relieved. But still, as I said in my previous entry, Selangor itself is a big state. I could be posted to anywhere, far from home. I hope, I will be posted to one of the schools in Sabak Bernam. I’ve been away from home since I was 13. Staying in school hostel for 5 years, then had PLKN for 3 months, then studied in KL for 3 years before flying off to Australia for 2 years, then came back to KL for the final year. I think I have learnt enough how to be independent. Well, scratch that. I mean, not THAT independent, but what I mean here, I know now how to take care of myself. It’s time for me to stay home now, taking care of my parents before I get married and move to somewhere else with my husband.
I really-really hope that I’ll be posted to Sabak. But if that doesn’t happen, what can I do?
Allah knows the best.
p/s – Dalam tatau nk tulis ape tu, byk pulak aku tulis.. Haha