What’s For Today?

 

Background Music -Here By Me by 3 Doors Down + I Gotta Feelin by Black Eyed Peas + Touch My Hand by David Archuleta

Woke up, got my Fifi and started browsing the net. Hm, hm.. What do I find today? In Yahoo7, nine killed includes five Italian tourists after a small plane clipped a helicopter and both crashed into Husdon River, New York. Wondering how such thing could happen… That’s quite a news huh?

Kept browsing the net.

 

Before and after being photoshopped

Before and after being photoshopped

 

The issue of Kelly Clarkson being overly Photoshopped. Well, what I gotta say to that? Hmm… I’m her fan. And I think I don’t mind her bodacious appearance. She’s a singer, all she needs is a good voice and hell she has a good voice. Great voice actually! That’s what matters.

Kept browsing the net.

 

Say it again dear..

Say it again dear..

 

Owho, found this too. 5 compliments that every women wants to hear.

  1. You’re irreplaceable
  2. You bring light to my life
  3. You are perfect just the way you are
  4. I love your (fill in the blanks, bright eyes, cute tows, toned arms, sleek legs, silky hair etc)
  5. I’m so proud of you

Let me add another one. This is not a compliment, but this is certainly what every woman wants to hear the most,

6. My love, let me pay for all your credit card bills.

Hahahaha! Nice one!

Next!

Checked my email. And saw another 2 forwarded emails by one of our cooperative teachers at school, Mdm Teh. She’s really cool and a bit gila. She’s been forwarding these funny emails, jokes, sometimes dirty jokes and those are quite funny. Haha.

This is the 1st one.

 

Hi, dad! Im your son!

Hi, dad! I'm your son!

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A teenager sat down next to him. He had spiked hair that was
red, orange, yellow, green, blue & violet.
The old man stared.
Whenever the teen looked, the old man was staring.
Finally, the teenager said sarcastically : “What’s the matter,
old boy, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without missing a beat the old man replied :” Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock. Just wondering if
you were my son.”

The 2nd one,

 

Damn you!

Damn you!

*1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big penis or a good memory. I don’t remember what I chose.*

*2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.*

*3. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’ *

*4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.*

*5. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.*

*6. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.*

*7. Virginity can be cured.*

*8. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. *

*9.  Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand..*

*10. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

*11.Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.*

*12. Q: What’s an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.*

*13. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing…..*

*14. Q : What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? A : Life sucks, job sucks, and wife doesn’t*

*15. Q : Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A : Breast don’t have eyes*

*16. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed, many men still sleep with their wives!*

 

Haha!

No.11 is my personal favourite! Will keep putting stuff like this in my next entries.

Nways, Mr.Gonzales balik ari ni! 🙂 Wanna take a shower! K, bubbye!

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