Every Beginning Has An Ending, And Every Ending Is A New Beginning

It feels like yesterday that I came to SKTJ for the first time to report duty, [click] and today, I’m already in somewhere else, leaving the school.

It had been what….? 1 year and 9 months?  Not even two years and I had to leave. I honestly didn’t see this coming. I mean, it was too soon. I was planning to apply for EG-Tukar for Pertukaran Sesi January 2012, but before I was able to do that, I was called by the JPNS in August, to consider this Pertukaran Negeri [click]. Okay, I’m not gonna talk about me going to Muar, instead, I’m gonna talk about me, leaving SKTJ.

A week before I left the school, I was always not in the mood. I felt so anxious about everything. About going to new school, about leaving the school, about having new friends, about teaching new students, about living far from family, even about being away from my cats, yeah, like I said, EVERYTHING. I actually didn’t want to tell my students that I was leaving because I knew, there would be questions, and I guess you guys know, questions that coming from kids are mostly hard to answer. But one week before UPSR, I felt like I had to tell my Year 6 kids that I am not gonna be there when the results come out. I wanted them to do the best during the examination. I wanted them to make me proud. I still do. That’s when the first tear dropped. I couldn’t control it, but I still wanted them to know that whatever they did to me, or whatever things that I said to them during class, it still wouldn’t break the love that I had for them.

Well, not just them, but all students in SKTJ, from pre-school kids until Year 6. From these seven classes, I taught four of them (Year 1, 4, 5 and 6) so I knew more than half of the students in this school. I know their backgrounds, their families, and some of them know my family too. It’s a small school, everybody knows everybody. We were like one big family. It didn’t take me long to get used to this school when I first arrived, coz they were very friendly. Besides, I was at own place, my town. What could be more comfortable rather than being at your own home?

I have a lot of bittersweet memories here. I bought my own first car when I was working here [click], I changed my single status to married [click], I threatened my GPK for my own benefit (no link to this point because this was a regular routine, and I think I WASN’T the only one who did that, haha), my first fight with the headmaster ([click] this was actually ‘sweet’ because I managed to stand for what I believe in front of him), my first fight with a parent because I taught his son a lesson for calling me ‘Babi’ [click], my SPP process ([click]now sudah sah dalam perkhidmatan yaw! Thanks KakGee). This is only a few. I’m too lazy to dig back all the entries. Ah.. Memories!

Last Friday, when we had Majlis Khatam Al-Quran dan Jamuan Raya, they actually gave me a chance to deliver a speech. A farewell speech. I was quite shocked when KakMimi (the MC) suddenly called out my name. At first I didn’t want to because the truth, I knew I would cry. Again. But since everybody was looking at me, seeing those eyes of the students, I surrendered.

Then……….. As expected, it was a very short speech, with ‘looooooong emotional’ pauses. I abruptly finished the speech and walked out of the hall, to the ladies room. God, only He knew how I felt.

Some of the pictures taken on my last day in SKTJ. Credits to KakShimah.

My Year 4 kids..

My Year 5 kids..

........

So sweeeett.... :'-)

From one of my Year 5 kids.. I'll miss you too..

The presents I got from the students.. Thank you all. Price doesn't matter, it's the thoughts that counts.

my sayangs... in 10 years, i might forget your name, but i'll keep this moment close to my heart. :'-)

I won’t forget this school. Though it’s less than two years being at this school, I think I have learnt a lot, improved myself a lot. I can’t really list down what are the things that have been improved but, I would say, I am proud of myself. I now know things better, know people better, and appreciate both of them better. And I think, even it’s not much, all the things that we’ve been through together in SKTJ, helps to make me a better person.

Thank you SKTJ.

Let’s Do Some Catchin-Up #20

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For this Catchin-Up series, I try to make it less wordy, and more pictures.

#1. Stuff I did..

Spent time in Muar with hubby, and these 'budak keciks'.

Budak keciks were about to send to the vet. Kena kurung. ;-p

Renew roadtax..

Went to Majlis Sambutan Hari Raya at my village. Haha

Darling and Aneeq were also there.

Darling seronok dapat duit rayaaa! Sape bagi? Ketua kampung aka beloved Atuk! Hehe

Went to Midvalley to celebrate Ayu's birthday at Amarin Heavenly Thai.

Mahfodz, the birthday girl Ayu, darling girlfriend Mdm Teh, and I.

That Red Velvet Cake!

Sooooooo rich!! Yummmy!

Brought my sudent, Syafiqah to SK Seri Makmur for Story-Telling Competition.

Even though she didn't win, but she did great on the stage. Congratulations.

Owh, met a friend. His name is Syahrul.

On the other hand, my other student, Thalith was the champion for Public Speaking Competition in SK Seri Mawar. Congratulations! Glad that I contributed something to the school.

#2. Stuff I bought…

Bought a headphone. PINK rules.

Also bought these two novels by Madeline Wickham. Currently reading #SleepingArrangement

Again, spent some money on these accessories..

Bought new bedsheet. English style la kunun.

This Charles & Keith stuff for mom's birthday (that I actually forgot!)

#3. Stuff I got..

Raya card from Eqa

Raya card from husband..

Surat Pengesahan Dalam Perkhidmatan. Yeay me!

Surat Pertukaran Antara Negeri. Yeay me too!

Farewell present, from girlfriend, Mdm.Teh.

Farewell present from the kids at school..

That’s all. Thank you. *graceful bow*

God, Please Make This Easier..

2011, it’s my second year of teaching UPSR kids, but unlike last year, I wonder why I’m not feeling anything this year. I still remembered last year, when I was nervous like hell, I was busy asking my friends if they have any clues what might come out, and I was worried the whole day of English paper (Thursday, the last paper), and etc. Yet, this year, I was calmer and more relaxed. No no. I’m not saying I’m getting better at it, or they are smarter students than last year, so then I don’t have to worry, no. Nothing like that. It’s just that… I don’t know. It feels like I can’t wait for all of this to be over. I want time to fly faster…. Faster until…

Okay, let’s just be frank and straight forward. I think, the major reason of all this ‘feelingless’ is…. this.

The letter that I received when I was called to JPNS, Shah Alam on last 25th August.

I know I should be happy. That’s what I wanted since I got married. I applied for this transfer in June. When it didn’t succeed, I was called back by JPNS two months after to consider this offer. It was almost like ‘bulan jatuh ke riba’ right? It was just that, I didn’t expect it was too soon.

Okay, actually, that’s not the part that got me worried.

Definitely, I’m not gonna be sent to Muar, where my husband is. Now, that’s the worst part.

I was explained by the officers that some of the districts which are not going to accept more teachers are, MUAR, Batu Pahat, Segamat, and Pontian. These districts are strictly not included in the offer. They are seriously full, overloaded even. So, the only choices that I have are, JB, Mersing, Pasir Gudang. I’m not sure about Kluang. The living cost in JB is ridiculously high, and Mersing? Nothing wrong with Mersing, it’s just that too far from Muar. I haven’t given enough thoughts on Pasir Gudang or Kluang tho. It’s too headache.

So, I’ve talked, discussed, consulted with my husband, my family, my friends, and my beloved KakGee the school clerk, they all advised me to accept the offer. They said, at least, I’m already in Johor, doesn’t matter what districts I’ll be sent to. If I reject the offer, I have to apply through EG-Tukar and only God knows how long that is going to take me out of Selangor. So… Okay, I accepted the offer. At the same time, I would ask my husband to get help from anyone that can help out my situation.

So, days passed by, and what I can conclude now, I might not be getting into Muar, because there are simply no place for me. People are trying to help (thanks to all of you, you know who you are ), calling here and there, but so far, no luck yet.

The official letter that’ll be informing me which district and school I’ll be sent to, might be received less than two weeks from now. So, till then, I have to live in uncertainties, which is not fun at all.

Right now, my situation is, I am leaving Selangor. I am leaving Sabak Bernam and I am leaving SK Tebok Jawa. That is pretty much confirmed. I just don’t know where I’m leaving for. I mean, I know I’m going to Johor, but Johor is a big state. Where, specifically? If I end up in Mersing or JB, or Pasir Gudang or Kluang, I still have to live alone without my husband. Worse, I have no family there. T__T

Despite all this worried, emotional ramblings, I know, I am making the right decision. It’s just that, to get to the last check-point of this right decision (settling down with my husband), maybe there is no straight path.

Haih. I’m so distracted by this.
In my case, I guess that beats UPSR fever this year.

p/s- I wish the best of luck to my Year 6 kids. You’re my final project in SKTJ, so make me proud. :’-)

A Bee Is Never As Busy As It Seems, Huh!

… I’m busier!

This is the busiest month ever. I’ve never felt like stopping for a while for a gasp of air, but this time, I have. I’m swamped!!

Being the Sports Secretary is tiring. It is Super Tiring, with capital S and T. All the paper work, invitation letters to other schools, looking for sponsorship and volunteers to be the officers at the field, ordering Sports Tshirts for students and officers, preparing this form and that form. Argh! It may sound not so tiring, but at the same time, I’m also a class teacher. I have to finish analyzing, doing post-mortem for the Mid Term Examination for my class (just so you know, not all teachers could finish marking on time, so I had to wait for them). Also, I’m teaching four standards at once, Year 1, Year 4, 5 and 6. Being a Year 6 ENGLISH teacher, I have to conduct night tuition for my students.

How could I not get a migraine?

Actually, there was a solution to this heavy workload. Haha. I had to start doing this early la kan? Like MONTHS early. It’s all about time management. However, with my BEST FRIEND dunia akhirat called Procrastination was with me, clinging to me every day and night, I swear it wasn’t easy.

But nways, I managed to prepare all that with help by the concerned colleagues. Thank you very much. There were some who didn’t wanna help, but never mind. I do payback time, not too worry.

Besides being the Secretary, I actually ‘accidentally’ appointed myself to be the MC (stupid stupid stupid). So, I will be hosting the event from 8.00 in the morning, until probably 5.30 or 6.00 in the evening. From forcing myself to MCing, now I feel like, I fall in love with it, especially being the commentator. Actually for this sports event, I am the first MC. It means, I will take care of the opening event, price giving ceremony and the closing event. Bahagian protokol lah senang cerita. The second MC is the commentator for every acara. It’s more casual. During this one week sports practice, I had to be both, the first MC and also the commentator. I find that being the commentator is much more fun (because it is spontaneous), rather than being the formal MC. I really really enjoyed it.

I consider myself as Hasbullah Awang, the famous Malaysian sports commentator. Heh, why Hasbullah Awang? Because I only know him. Haha. You know I used to memorize quite a lot of EPL commentators, it was in those days, when I really really liked to watch football, but now I forget all of their names.

Okay lah. I wanna have lunch and after that, take a nap (lepas makan tidur, memang bagus prangai).

Before I sign out, here’s a picture of me joining Larian 1 Murid 1 Sukan 1 Malaysia this morning. I ran okay, not walked. It’s been a while since I ran like that. Semput jugak. Tanda-tanda tua? I hope not. I just lack of exercise, that’s all.

Depan sekali tuuuu!

Hoping for a fine day and smooth event tomorrow. Amin.

POKOK

Pokok by Meet Uncle Hussin feat. Hazama

Tersesat malu bertanya
Tak tahu tak tahu ke mana
Terlalu banyak alasannya
Duk terdiam
Menyusur di kaki lima terlihat bayang wajah kelmarin
Tersentuh hati bagai luruh

[*]
Tanya sama pokok
Apa sebab goyang
Jawab angin yang goncang
Terbang burung terbang
Patah sayap diduga
Seandainya rebah kau masih ada

[**]
Terlalu mahu dan mahu terlupa apa yang belum
Terlalu banyak alasannya
Duduk terdiam
Tak mudah namun tak susah terserah atas pilihan
Tersentuh hati mula luruh

Ulang [*]

Nanana.. nananana..
Nanana.. nananana..
Nanana.. nananana.. na…

Kau masih ada ulang 2x
Kau masih adaaa… ooooooooo!

Ulang [**]

Tanya sama pokok…

Seminggu ni memang aku duduk padang, coz ada rehearsal untuk Sukan Sekolah. Technician asek play lagu ni jer. Memula dgr, dah tersangkut.

Tajuk dia yang seketul tu je dah buat aku pelik, POKOK??

This song is very figurative. Yes, it’s a heavy song. I like it.

Eh, NO! I don’t like Hazama, I just like song.

BETUL LAH!!

Okay, back to work.

Being the Sports Secretary makes me appreciate life and my beauty sleep more and more. Guh! Betapa takde life nye pegang jawatan ni. Smpai migraine you!